In a new relationship you have to admit a large proportion of what you feel toward the other person is a very strong sexual desire especially in the first few weeks. This is normal and not just normal but essential. This strong urge you feel to mate with this new partner is basically down to nature and sexual chemistry and without this incredibly strong feeling, no real lasting relationship would be possible.
A true measure for love is having this strong desire for one another almost to the point of wanting to devour one another because this is the basic chemistry for love. In nature this would be the stage in which you would be mating and inevitably getting pregnant but in this day and age we try not to do that on a first date, although it does happen! This strong desire then turns into a sense of caring and duty knowing they couple need to protect their developing young and the father has to protect his pregnant partner and they are connected in this role as parents and providers.
This change in role however is what takes a feeling of lust to the level of love in terms of nature but in today's society, love is where you feel your fates are connected and even on the worst day you still would rather be together than apart. Nowadays things happen far more slowly and people have many more options and this is where confusion and doubts can take the start of a relationship and the feeling of lust and turn it into something you no longer want to be part of and this feeling simply fades as you get to know more about the person.
As this happens and you start to feel less enthusiastic about the person and you question is this person really what you want. The simple truth is that maybe the partner you have is not exactly what you wanted but then what makes you Mr or Mrs Perfect. If you have friends who are in love ask them if their partner is perfect and they will run off a list of things that drives them crazy about them other person. They will have also both thought about ending their relationship because it is not easy to stay together when the lust fades and thing become routine and all about who's washing up and why haven't the bin bags gone out?
Anyone in a relationship who claims to have found love will tell you that real love is about the ability to work together towards common goals and compromise within acceptable boundaries. This is what changes lust to love, finding that one person who you can compromise for and can build a future with. This usually comes after the fireworks and chemistry has settled down and on a random quiet night in you will just know that the person you are with is right for you, all the good and bad and if you don't make it work with them then love just might not happen for you. Relationships can fail after 30 years of love, what can change is the ability to accept the boundaries and work as a unified couple.
Susan is a dating counsellor who guides couples and singles in the dating world. Susan works for a company who let you search and meet singles who live nearby. If you live in the UK then why not try dating agency in London and meet professionals, for a date at lunchtime or after work! For more information please visit http://www.lovestruck.com .
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