There are so many films and TV programmes full of couples you are just willing to get back together or realise they are perfect for one another like Mulder and Scully, Meredith and Derek and Bones and Brenan. We all love to watch as the will they, won't they becomes the surreal episode where our dreams for that couple comes true and they finally get it together, only to find out it goes wrong or it's not real.
But thats TV, I hear you all shout! I know it's great, but in the real world they would have all slept together at Christmas parties and realised it wasn't right, probably gone out with their brother or sister for good measure just to make sure that they would never be together.
In reality if you have just broken up with someone and you think you are still in love, just answer these questions and put a stop to many years of wondering and considering if the person you were just with is the one that got away.
1) Why did you break up? Really why? Because in my opinion usually one person has compromised who they are too much and aren't even themselves anymore. Then they get sick of the other person taking them for granted and expecting too much from them.
2) Which one were you? Can you learn from this? Next time, don't bend so far as to break or just stop expecting the moon on a stick and put some effort in yourself.
3) Would you do it again? Is there any way you could actually go through the other person kissing your mate in front of you, or ignoring you to be with their friends? Think about this one because you can spend the next several years thinking that ex partner was the best thing that ever happened to you, and never move on. Seeing a person for who they really are means looking at their faults too and acknowledging how they treated you when you were together.
Whether this is just a case of bad timing or situations out of your control, your ex is your ex for a reason. Deep down you know that either they or you were not committed to the relationship and wanted something different - not necessarily better. So in the next few months when you hear how they have moved on, don't wish for what could have been, look for what can be and focus on meeting someone who will be there for you properly. More importantly someone, who you can love and will love you in return, who will give you the respect and time you need and let you love them too.
Relationship are hard enough work, without trying to start a new one, still being confused about what happened in a past relationship, so give yourself a clean slate and let the past go, there will always be another romance just around the corner. True love only happens once because when you find it, you will never let it go. Happy healing!
Susan is a relationship expert who guides couples and singles in the online dating world. Susan works for http://www.lovestruck.com, who let you search and meet singles who live nearby. If you live in the UK then why not try http://www.lovestruck.com/london/ and meet professionals, for a date at lunchtime or after work!
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