While paying my bills today, I couldn’t find my AT&T Long Distance phone bill. While trying to find out how much I owed AT&T Long Distance, I was put through a process that made me wish I wasn’t using their services at all. It was frustrating, annoying, and a great lesson for anyone in Home Business who wants to keep customers coming back through that all-important Customer Service channel.
It took me over 20 minutes on the phone to find the answer to one simple question: How much did I own them this month?
The trip down Pan’s Labyrinth started with an innocent call to their 800 Customer Service line. It was answered by an automated system that spent way too much time telling me how great AT&T is, that they’re merging with Bell South, and finally giving me some of those dreaded Automated Menu choices to key into my phone. I navigated my way through the initial menus to get to Billing and Payment. Then I navigated through some more choices to get to Account Balance.
Then, I learned that whatever genius is programming this system has a twisted sense of humor. I was calling to get my Account Balance because I couldn’t find my bill. The system told me that if I wanted my account balance, I had to tell them what my account balance was. The system told me that if I didn’t know my account balance, I should look on my bill, and key that balance into the system to verify that I really was who I claimed to be.
Let’s see…I don’t have my bill, so I’m calling to get my Account Balance. The AT&T phone system tells me to look on my bill and tell it what my Account Balance is, or it won’t tell me what my Account Balance is. Dead end.
There was no obvious way to back up in the menus and make other choices, so I had to call back and try to reach a live person. I knew that this was going to be even more fun. After navigating my way through at least half a dozen main menus and sub-menus that plaintively tried to cover every conceivable little thing I could possibly be bothering AT&T for, I finally got to one that sounded halfway promising, so I navigated through those sub-choices. After all the choices were exhausted and I still hadn’t gotten to a live person, I waited a few seconds more after the last option, and the system finally, grudgingly, asked me if I wanted to speak to a representative. I indicated that I did, and was connected (at last) to an obviously outsourced person outside the US whom I could barely understand.
I told him that I had lost my bill, and needed my Account Balance. He asked me to look on my bill and give him the numbers that came after my phone number. (Sigh). I explained again that I didn’t HAVE my bill. So, after mentally processing that fact for the second time, he asked me for some other identifying info, which I gave him.
He asked me if I had AT&T Residential Service, which I don’t. I just have the long distance service through AT&T. He wasn’t very happy about that, and wanted to know why I didn’t use AT&T for my residential service as well. I told him I didn’t care to discuss it; I just wanted my Account Balance. At long last, he told me what that Balance was.
Then, he started asking me questions about my other communications services. Did I have AT&T for my online service. Did I have AT&T wireless. He explained that AT&T was merging with Bell South and I could change all my services over to AT&T. I told him I liked everything just the way it was, and didn’t want to change anything. The sales pitch went on. He did his best to make me sound foolish for not switching over to AT&T for everything. I kept saying “no”, but he kept on going. This went on for some time.
Now, most people, having the information that they came for in the first place, would have simply hung up on him. However, I was getting curious to see exactly how far this would go. In my business, WorldwideBrands.com, my Customer Service reps are taught to get our customers the information they want as quickly as possible without any kind of a sales pitch. Call it old fashioned, but going after someone’s wallet when they’re just trying to ask you a simple question is not my idea of Customer Service OR marketing, no matter what the hard-sell marketing “experts” claim.
The AT&T rep sounded positively panicked about the fact that AT&T wasn’t the absolute center of my communications universe, and was determined to push and push until I gave in. I became certain that AT&T was monitoring those Reps’ calls to be sure that they sold something virtually every time they had contact with a customer, which is a common practice in Call Centers, especially outsourced ones.
Anyway, after a great deal of frustration with both AT&T’s automated system and their hard-sell outsourced Customer Service center, I finally convinced this guy I will not buy anything form him today.
Just when I thought my ordeal was over, THEN came the “satisfaction of service” questions. The rep wanted to know if I had provided him with satisfactory customer service. I was tempted to say no, but I didn’t want to get forwarded to a supervisor or have to explain my answer, so I said yes. Then he wanted to know if I was satisfied with AT&T services. I said yes. Then he wanted to know if there was anything else AT&T could do for me or any other services I wanted to hear about. I was highly tempted to tell him that AT&T could take their automated customer-trap designed to keep people from talking to live reps and shove it somewhere uncomfortable, and do the same for their hard-sell call center tactics, but I didn’t because I just wanted to get off the phone.
Finally, we hung up. I had easily been twenty minutes just finding out what my Account Balance was.
Is this a lesson for Home based business? Yes, of course. These large businesses are frankly pissing people off on a huge scale with these twisted automated systems that try to keep you away from talking to human beings, and the hard-sell tactics you end up being subjected to if you ever DO get to a live person. It’s not just AT&T. They’re ALL doing it.
Take a lesson from these jackasses. They’re not servicing customers. They’re pissing off customers. Honestly, if I had another option besides AT&T for my long distance service in this area right now, I’d be on the phone signing up for it right now.
When you deal with your Home Business customers, talk to them. Make it quick and painless. Give them the info they want, and let them go. They have other things to do besides listen to your sales pitches. Don’t fall for the pseudo-educated marketing idiots who tell you that every contact needs to sell something. Every contact WILL sell something all by itself if it is a short, sweet, pleasant contact.
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